Happiness is a new bidet and a clean backside. A new Toto Washlet. Reasonable cost, easy to install, and just like the toilets I experienced in Japan.

The other night I turned to my wife after telling Siri to turn off lights, and said “Remember when we had to get up to turn off lights?”

Now it’s “Remember when we had to wipe our butts with paper?”

The only downside is that it has to be plugged in, and the other bathrooms in the house don’t have an outlet anywhere close. So they’re ineligible until I figure something out.